Please note: transcript not 100% accurate.
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people in the office giving him lots of attention, maybe that his wife’s not giving him and he then starts looking good, feeling good and then he cheats. Happens all the time. It is usually women that pull the plug first because women are the ones that say, I’m done, I’ve had enough or he keeps doing the same thing or he keeps cheating or whatever it is. So if you have held a knife to her or if you have done something, just acknowledge it to me because if you don’t, then it comes out.
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You know, I’m on the no now.
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Welcome to Uncover Your Eyes, where we break down the most pressing health topics shaping lives today. Divorce. Divorce is a really heavy but seven-letter word, and it affects our entire life. Studies have shown that divorce rates are higher amongst healthcare professionals, typically between 30 to 50%. This is likely from our emotional
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burnout, our stressful jobs, and our difficulty with work-life balance. Let’s hear real stories today from the front lines with Samara Iqbal. Samara is a global solicitor with many years of experience in international family law and has a passion for helping families navigate challenging domestic circumstances. Thank you, Samara, for being on today. I really appreciate your time. Hi, nice. Thanks for having me.
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So tell me, know, mean, divorce is obviously a scary word. Do you see this, you know, divorce rates higher amongst certain professions, certain genders? Like, what are stats on this? So divorce rates usually are quite high amongst like high stress professions, that’s what I would say. So when I say stress, that means there’s a lot more involved in their jobs, such as maybe healthcare. So doctors and nurses, even law enforcement, so even officers and…
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people in that industry and teaching. So I think anywhere where there is quite long shifts or long hours and there’s a lot more stress and pressure on that person’s profession, I think that can cause, obviously, divorce to cause higher because that person is very involved in their job role. They’ve got a lot of pressure and then when they come home, they’re quite bent out, I would say, and sometimes emotionally. And sometimes they have a difficulty in balancing that kind of work life and home life and it’s quite common.
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Do you see it more amongst like, is it usually women coming to you asking for the divorce or men or do you see a difference in that? I think it’s, so normally, and this is quite standard across the board as a divorce lawyer and or family lawyer is it is usually women that pull the plug first because women are the ones that say, I’m doing, I’ve had enough or he keeps doing the same thing or he keeps cheating or whatever it is. So women usually the first to take that step.
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divorce and men usually then just respond. Men usually are more, their prerogative usually is more the children, while women it’s usually the divorce and the financial side. So that’s just across the board. That’s really interesting. And do you feel it’s more, you know, with financial, there’s a discrepancy amongst financial statuses? Like those with higher financial statuses tend to seek more divorce or anything like that? I think divorce rates, to be honest, in any, it’s the same, whether it’s there in
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both extreme ends. So they could be extremely wealthy or they could be not doing as well financially. think it’s the divorce rates for me from what I’ve seen, everybody. So that doesn’t matter. And you’re seeing an increase in that, correct, over the last many years? Yeah, I think divorce rates are very high and they tend to vary by age sometimes. Sometimes you see younger couples divorce faster because they have financial instability maybe.
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or they’ve got a lack of maturity in the relationship so they can’t really work it out. Sometimes it’s cultural backgrounds, so sometimes like I deal with lot of expats, it’s different backgrounds, culture, lack of support that can lead to a higher divorce. Financial, like I said, I’ve seen both ends, like I can’t really comment. Low income families, obviously their issues are like they’re arguing over money all the time and one person is contributing more to the relationship.
04:22
financially and they feel like the burdens on them and the other partners are doing it and then even high income earners as well and couples, it’s a power imbalance. And sometimes when, and I hate to say this, when somebody has more money, is then infidelity can happen as well, especially amongst men. And because I’ve seen that lots of wealthier men, when they do get into certain positions, women sometimes are more attracted to them because they’ve got this position or they’ve got more money and then these men tend to like the attention.
04:52
and they tend to cheat and that happens a lot as well. So women that have been together with men for years, as soon as he’s got a position and something happens and he gets some attention or women kind of come round, he sometimes can be unfaithful and that happens a lot as well. It’s a risk. I see this a lot in the UAE. So lots of couples will move from the States, for example, or the UK or Europe, never had issues, been married 15 years, kids are in high school, get to the UAE, he’s now got this really good job and…
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He’s this certain status and then he’s got a nice car. He’s not maybe got as much pressure on him for money. He’s got a good salary, he’s tax free. And then people in the office giving him lots of attention, maybe that his wife’s not giving him. And he then starts looking good, feeling good, and then he cheats. Happens all the time. So unfortunately, and then the wife will come and say, oh my God, like he’s completely changed. He would never do this if we were in the UK or in the States. But now he’s getting all this attention.
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These women don’t care if he’s married, they just want him to buy them a nice handbag or take them on holiday or spend on them. And because he’s got this status or this passport, and unfortunately that also comes with the profession sometimes as well. Do you find, you know, there are certain things that make people seek divorce? Like, do they come to you and say, you know, these are the most common reasons why people want divorce? Why are, for example, you said it was mainly women.
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So, you know, or a lot more women, you know, tend to pull the plug first. What are their reasons? What are the most common reasons? A lot of women will, and the most common one is, he’s cheated before. He said he would stop. He’s doing it again. Keep saying that he’ll stop. So that’s like a common infidelity. So a woman will give him so many chances because yes, she’s got children. You know, not everybody can just walk away. It’s not that easy. And you can’t judge someone as well for staying. And I never do. So when people come to me, I don’t judge them because…
06:44
Who am I to judge? Everybody stays for different reasons. Some women stay because of financial reasons as well. They’re scared. Like, he’s paying for everything. If I leave, and this is obviously a gain of power struggle, like I will have this for my children and they stay and it’s awful because they’re in that weaker position. So I would say infidelity is very common and it’s usually women that pull the plug, but you do get men saying that she’s been unfaithful and that does happen as well. Then you’ve got like financial issues. So there’s stress of debt, income, financial.
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irresponsibility, maybe one partner is gambling or spending money being careless, and she’s really worried that he’s raising up debts or he’s worried about her, then you’ve got lack of communication, very common one, that’s standard. So it’s like they don’t talk anymore, they don’t engage anymore, there’s like an emotional disconnection, that’s the best word. So that also means that they can’t really resolve any conflicts. If there’s an argument, they don’t sit down and say, look, let’s fix this, like what’s going on, let’s do this together more, let’s do that as a family.
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that happens as well. And then sometimes it’s just people completely can change, know, things change them, jobs change them. They can sometimes just go off in different things and she wants something else now, he wants something else, different interests change and they just don’t have anything in common. And I think the last one is probably abuse. Some people are fed up with psychological abuse, control, financial control, could be physical, you know, like domestic abuse, emotional as well.
08:10
That’s quite common as well. would say abuse is like a big umbrella term. So lots of types of abuse comes in there. So lots of people just have had enough, like, I can’t do this anymore. Can’t be with him. I can’t be with her. And that’s quite common. So I would say they are the top five, I would say. You know, with communication, I feel that hits a lot of the healthcare professionals. We’re tired. We come home. There is that lack of communication that happens, you know, especially if both husband and wife are
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healthcare providers, right? Different shifts, tired, know, whatever the situation is. I mean, I know you’re a lawyer, but is there advice, like sometimes do you feel like, you know, you just want to shake them and say one thing to them, like about communication that I wish you guys just did this, you know, is there something? We obviously, when we get couples coming to us, we don’t really try and fix the relationship in that sense. We don’t say, oh, go on, communicate and work this out. But we do say,
09:05
is look, if this has ended, because they normally come to us at the last stage, like that’s it, I’m done. It’s not like, oh, can you do counselling and sort this out? They probably have tried that or they’ve gone through so many cycles and stages before they’ve actually come to someone like me. So if you come to me or my team, you’re usually at the stage where you want out or you want to work out what your options are, plan this, like, okay, yeah, actually file the divorce. Not yet. This needs to happen first. I need to get this advice. Then I’ll think about it.
09:31
But they’re normally at the stage where they’ve checked out. So we can’t kind of say, look, go and communicate. What we will do is say, look, now that you’re ending this, or it’s going to end very soon, and your partner or your spouse is going to find out, communicate now is the best way to keep this amicable and civil to avoid this becoming bigger than it is and more difficult. Because if they are completely toxic with each other, they can’t communicate and they can’t talk.
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everything is going to go through as lawyers and it just makes it a lot worse. That doesn’t mean that we don’t mind helping. Yes, we’ll get paid more because we’re doing essentially all the talking for you, but communicate, talk, be civil, say what do you want, sit down, write things out. As much as you can communicate and agree, it makes our job easier. Not because we don’t want to help, it just means that it’s more helpful, especially if you have children as well. So even if they say, actually, Samara, we’ve sorted out the children’s side, we’re fine, we’re going to do this.
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We just need you to help us just sort out the financials a bit, give us some advice, making sure it’s fair. And then can you help us file the divorce and put all, what’s the process like? Tell me. And that’s the best way to get divorced. And the easiest, and it just leaves neither party bitter and they know they’ve dealt with it fairly. So lots of couples will say, look, I just want a lawyer because I want to make sure I’m not taking less and he’s not taking more with both. It’s fair. Like I don’t want to take her share. don’t want it to, know, I don’t want, and it’s already ended, it’s finished.
10:56
I just want to make sure it’s fair. And lots of men say this as well. Look, we’ve been together for long time. We have children. Like just talk us through the process so we can, for example, do financial disclosure, making sure it’s all fair. You guys know everything and you can tell me what’s fair as well. So maybe I’m offering less and I should be giving more, for example. Maybe I’m being over generous and she’s walking away with more like you tell me. And we’re happy to do that as part of our job. But if obviously they can’t talk.
11:26
They’re not civil. They really don’t communicate. It’s going to cause lots of issues. And children see that as well. And that’s the worrying part. Because children will know, especially when they get to a certain age, like, yes, my mom dad are splitting up. It’s over. But they will know that you can’t talk to each other. They will know that there’s a lot of anger there or hate. And sometimes it’s not anyone’s fault. The woman’s really upset because he’s been cheating. She does not want to even look at him. She’s so upset. And that’s why the lawyer comes in and we’re there, essentially.
11:54
What can you do? You know, it’s one of those. We always say, look, try your best to communicate and on that stage. So I wouldn’t say to people communicate before, because I’m not giving relationship advice. I’m giving license communication like post the end before it kind of finalizes and finishes. Right. OK, I have to ask you something. What is the worst case you feel you’ve handled? Oh, gosh, I don’t know where to start.
12:24
There’s so many worse cases. That’s not good. When I say worse cases, think, you know, I’ve seen, like, I’ve just seen, like, somebody really going through so much. And it’s like, for example, I had this woman and she was ill. She had cancer. She was really, really ill. She was sick. And he kept doing case after case about the kids, about money. And he had lots. She didn’t have as much.
12:50
And obviously she, we helped as much as we could and so much happened and he was doing this and he was trying to get custody and he was fighting for this and he wasn’t giving her the money and she was just trying her best and she was the nicest woman ever and she was going through much and guess what? She died during the proceedings. That was like for me, that was like the worst case because I really, I just cried. I was like, this is the saddest thing ever. So for me, that’s probably my worst case that he kept.
13:17
doing this to her and she actually wanted to just agree and settle. But it was just the way he was so vindictive and manipulated the situation. I was lying about things and all she cared about was her little girl. It was so sad, so, so sad. And he was trying to take her, she was like, look, don’t mind. He’s seeing her, but she lives with me and there was so much going on. And she was ill and she was just trying to spend time with her. And I think the stress of what was going on, she couldn’t handle it. And that actually made it worse and she died. So for me, it just broke my heart.
13:47
Yeah, yeah. That’s a tough one. Oh my gosh. I should have asked you this at the end. Look, I don’t know, Hannah. That is just, I mean, you’re in a very hard profession, especially dealing with these, you know, every day. Exactly. And I had a really big case where they had divorced years ago and the exporter case, he’d remarried, moved on, and she restarted the case in the UK, which can happen when you don’t finalize things, there’s no clean break. And they kept going.
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fighting with each other and doing everything. And then they both died as well during the proceedings. It’s like, come on, you’re over things. He was like, I don’t have it anymore. She was like, he does, he does. Case, case, the case went on, on lots of costs, thousands, thousands, thousands. And what happens? He dies and she dies. Like, come on. Do you understand? Sometimes it is like, up, like you don’t need to do this. So it’d be like those two would be my most extreme type of cases that I’ve dealt with. And they went on for a long time.
14:46
But that for me is something that I would class as a worst case. I’ve seen someone go through and then just the fact that it ended for her, it was just really hard. I still find it hard to talk about. Do you find, I’m sure you’ve represented somebody where you feel or you know in your heart to separate you being a human being and having a heart versus your profession, I guess, and you felt they were…
15:14
wrong and you knew in your heart they were wrong, but you had to represent them? do you like, how you have to? So lots of times we don’t, we don’t say that they’re wrong, but we know they’re kind of, I could bring up things that they’re not being honest. What I love to do is say, look, it’s okay. You were in a relationship of things that have happened. Just be honest with me. I’m here to help you, not here to judge you. So if you have held a knife to her, if you have done something, just acknowledge it to me. Because if you don’t, then it comes out.
15:43
You know, I rather know now. I’m not here to convey all your secrets to people. Like, but just be honest with me. So I rather have honesty because what happens to me sometimes is somebody will come to see me and I can, I’m so good at working people out. I can see that they’re telling me things, but they’re like, being a bit quiet about certain things. So when I’m asking them like, okay, so why did it break down? What’s going on? What about this? What about that? They, they don’t kind of give me the clear answer that I want.
16:11
And I can tell when someone’s not being honest. And then what happens, always happens when I get papers or statements or evidence from you decide that your client has done X, Y or Z to our client and this and that, I’m like, okay, so now I know. So there you go. So can you see, I’m anticipating it because I can see that they’re not being honest. So sometimes I always am upfront and saying, just be honest about anything. Does it matter when no one’s perfect? We’ve all done things, especially in relationships.
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ugly side or a bad side can come out when we’re pushed up or under pressure. You might have sent messages swearing, you may have hit once or, you know, maybe you defended yourself, maybe you’ve been controlling, like, just be honest, because we have to help everyone. So we can’t kind of discriminate. So my other woman, we have to just say to them, like, look, you need to be honest. I represented a woman once who lied about every single thing. I applied for a non-molestation order, which is the equivalent of a restraining order in the States.
17:07
against her ex. He came to court with lots of evidence showing clearly that she was stalking him and harassing him. And it was so embarrassing for me because I obviously believed her and filed this order that I got. And the judge had to dismiss it because he was like, look, I’m sorry, but there’s enough here to show that she’s actually doing it to him. And he should have applied for the restraining order. It happens. She was essentially the one who she lied. And she was my client. I had to say to her like,
17:36
What did you make me do? Why did you lie? But she must have done it for a reason. Unfortunately, that happens and that was a clear lie. She was clearly in the wrong and he actually could have done other things. And the fact that she put him through that and he had to defend himself and come to court and had enough, lots of clear evidence that she was the one doing it. You know, in a way it was good because he defended himself and he was able to get rid of the order. But come on, she was my client. I was so, I was like, oh God, why did you do that?
18:04
I mean, you’re in a really hard profession. I do not think I could ever be the type of lawyer that you are. I want to know how you put your emotions aside from your work. How do you not want to scream at your clients? How do you not want to be like… How do you continue representing somebody that you are mad at in your head? Because they told you the same value as them. No, don’t think I get mad at clients. think I just sometimes just don’t listen.
18:34
So I’m like, look, I’ve said this before, I’ll say it again, but some people just don’t get it. They just keep repeating, repeating. But they’ve got to understand that I am trying to advise them, but if they don’t listen, what can you do? So I had to put it in writing. I say it to them, I’m saying, look, this is what I’m giving you some advice. You need to listen. And it is frustrating sometimes because they don’t, because it’s emotional or they’re angry or they’re upset. And it is hard. It’s very hard to manage them sometimes. So clients are difficult, especially family law clients, because…
19:02
something’s happened today, this has happened, he’s done this and he’s like, okay, calm down, I’m here, what’s happened? Okay, and they wanna talk urgently and oh my God, this has happened again or she’s done this or he’s done that or the police were called, he came to get the kids and everything, there’s a big kickoff, all these things can happen. Hi, this has happened, I’m at the police station, okay, what’s happened? So it is hard, it’s hard because…
19:29
I do get attached to certain clients after a while because they’re my clients and I genuinely think they’re good people. A lot of them I’m like, you’re going through it. This is probably the hardest thing you’re going through and you could be the CEO of Microsoft and you could be the biggest millionaire, but this is your personal life. And we’re here to support you and also here to reassure you, but it’s going to be tough. It’s not going to be easy. And we’re here to help, but also.
19:54
Also tell you and manage your expectations. I know everything’s going to be plain sailing. You might not get everything you want. It might not be that easy for you. It might be difficult, but we’re going to try our best to give you the best advice, but also manage you. Because what I want from my clients at the end of the day is when they walk away is to say, look, Samara, you tried your best. I didn’t get everything, but it was good. It was clear. It was fair. And you helped me. You communicated with me. You did everything you could and you gave me the best advice and I’m happy with that and it’s fine.
20:24
That’s all I want because that’s my job. I’m here to help you the best I can, given the circumstances. You might not want to part with this or part with it, but you’re to have to give it because it’s fair. That’s how we are. Because I will say to clients, you’re going to have to do that. You’re going to have to do this. It’s in sorry. Then they’re like, it is, it’s tough. Not that we’re all preparing for a divorce, but what are certain things that you wish
20:53
I think it’s something we can all learn from that you wish. Let’s talk finances first. What can people do to protect themselves? And just be smart, just be smart in a marriage. I think having your own financial independence is important. So women and men both should have their own bank accounts, should also have some of their own money. It’d be really good to have your own jobs. Personally, I think for a woman, even if it’s part-time on the side, like good to have something, sometimes obviously you can’t, take a break from work, you’re having children, you know.
21:22
That’s fine, but just to have your own dependency is good because God forbid, even if your husband, nothing happens, but God forbid he passes away, you should be able to stand on your own two feet because no one else is there to really help. Sometimes you don’t have family members that can really support you financially. So women should be smart financially and have their own money and be smart to have their own assets or things put in their own name should something finish tomorrow.
21:49
That’s the first thing I’ll say is having financial independence in a relationship is good. Also giving quality time to each other as well. So even if you have got a stressful job, making sure, for example, with me, to Friday is crazy. I don’t have any time. But what I will do on the weekend is really try and switch off, not look at my phone, not look at emails, not try and do any work, just literally family. Go out, let’s go here, talk, spend time together, plan the day. And that’s it. This is my time. Just don’t bother me.
22:18
I get messages, I get emails, I just ignore them thinking, I’ll deal with you on Monday, because you need to have that time with each other as a family as well. Being smart as well could mean lots of things, know, just making sure you got access to documents, should something happen tomorrow so you know. So, example, women sometimes are divorcing, they’re like, yeah, my name’s on the mortgage, but I don’t have any access, I don’t know the documents, I don’t know if I’ve got 20 % or 50%. How do you not know? Like, you know, have some access. Oh yeah, he made me sign something, I don’t know what it was.
22:48
Honestly, it’s shocking that women born in the West just sometimes do not have a clue because he controls everything. Sometimes a woman can control everything and the man doesn’t know. He’s like, oh, I get my money. She pays for everything. I don’t know where everything is. Like she set this up. She said that. That does happen. It’s mainly the women. They don’t know. And it’s like, come on, like you should know, like where you know how bills are paid and what’s going on here. And that’s just be more sharp. Have your documents. It’s going to happen tomorrow. You’ve got your documents. You’ve got this.
23:16
And just being more kind of aware, I would say financially and just have your wits about you as well, because you know, don’t trust. And I always say this and I hate to say this, but I would say never ever trust even your spouse. 100%. Yeah. I think that’s the biggest lesson. Yeah, this person can do the best thing ever, but they can change that and they can do something. You’ll be like, wow.
23:45
And trust can be broken very easy. So I’m not saying don’t trust them. Trust them until trust is broken, but also just be aware of things. And so you can have access to money and documents and other things. God forbid something happened to him or he just goes off and he cuts you off. Like you need to be able to support yourself. Right. What are your thoughts on a prenup? Oh yeah, we do them all the time. thing to do. I have had like probably 10 calls this week for prenups.
24:14
Very, very big. So it’s very important as well. I think it’s easier to do it before you get married. So things are clear. So they’re getting more and more popular. Definitely. They’re a great tool to be very kind of financially honest with your upcoming husband or wife to say, look, you know what I’ve got. And if we get some joint assets in the future, we’ll be equal. We have children. But right now I need to protect what’s mine or in my family. And let’s just have that.
24:43
kind of clarity. they’re becoming more more common between lots of kind of couples that are getting married. What are the dirty tricks people play? Like hidden assets, things like that. how do know people are hiding their assets? Like, like, what are some of these dirty tricks that you see? It’s really hard because trick dirty tricks are things such as people hiding money. So it’s like, oh, he knows I’m going to divorce him. So he’s moved everything into like an offshore trust. It’s in actually on paper. He’s got nothing.
25:12
And that’s probably what I would call the dirty tricks mainly is hiding assets. That’s probably the main thing that somebody would do. And you see that often hiding assets? Yeah, lots, lots and lots of people do it. So they’ll remove their name off things or transfer properties or offshore them. They will do kind of whatever it is to hide that asset. And they’ll ask us as well, like, do you think this is a good idea?
25:38
Can you give me some tips on how I can make sure like my future wife doesn’t get anything as well? Like, you I’ve got properties with my family and et cetera, et cetera. So, you know, there is all of that kind of pressure as well. So we have to advise them that, look, you know, should be clear and frank about this kind of stuff. You shouldn’t be hiding anything. But unfortunately it happens. That’s the biggest thing is that like deception. Right. Have you?
26:07
ever dropped a case or I want to say like we call it firing our patients, right? Due to various reasons. Have you ever fired a client and why? I think the only time we’ve actually, we don’t call it firing, but what we call it is we always say if the relationship breaks down with someone, with a client, for example, it’s clearly not working, they don’t seem to understand, they’re getting upset about things, they’re just not communicating. We just say, look, it seems like this.
26:33
relationship or this client relation, lawyer relationship is not going forward anymore. Clearly there’s a lot of misunderstandings. You’re not listening to our advice and you’re doing things that we would clearly advise you not to do, then yes, essentially we can finish it. So for example, if I have a client that I told her clearly don’t do this and she’s gone and done it and that could mean, for example, I had somebody file a document, put my name on it and file it with the court without my permission.
27:01
And it’s like, we’re dealing with your case. We are the only ones authorized to put our name on any legal document and send it in. You should not be doing that. Clearly end of relationship. We can’t trust you. So you shouldn’t be doing that. We told you not to do that. And you still did it. So that was one that I had to end. Other ones are just, I’m lucky I won’t say they’ve ended. We normally try to talk it out. So we kind of say, what are the issues here? Why are we not seeing eye to eye on this? Do you have like red flags?
27:29
I know you’re not a marriage counselor, but red flags over time that you’ve learned, you know, that you would advise healthcare provider, I mean, anyone really, I should say, in a marriage. I would say a red, there’s quite a few red flags. One would be probably personality issues between a couple. if you really, so a lot of people say this, oh, I’ve married him and he’s completely different now after marriage. Oh, she’s very different. She’s portrayed herself to be like this, but she’s actually…
27:58
So, you know, we get those kind of ones. So I would say personality issues. If you straight away see that there’s this going on at beginning, that’s a red flag. Or before you, this could be after marriage. I would also say probably lots of criticism and blaming someone in the relationship makes the person feel insecure and down and it’s not healthy. So that’s another red flag. So if someone’s doing that to you, that’s not healthy and it’s not good for your mental health. Over time, it really affects you. And again,
28:28
People have addictions, so don’t realize sometimes when you get married they’ve got substance abuse and addictions to certain things. So that could be even gambling, alcohol, drugs, and just infidelity, power imbalances, that can make things worse as well. So I’ve had women, as soon as it was one thing, they’re like, I’m done. But for another woman, she may not think that it’s done even if does it 10 times because her kind of threshold’s different. So everybody has their own kind of boundaries. And if you push, push, push,
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Finally, especially with women, you push them so far, it’s finished. She won’t kind of want to come back. She’ll be like, I’m done. think women generally as well, they will file a divorce when they’re actually done. I have got one lady today saying to me that she doesn’t want to divorce anymore after a year and they’re going through mediation and he wants to reconcile. So she’s like, can I finalize it? Should I leave it? I was like, you can leave it. And if it works out fine, we can withdraw the application. You know, so we’re not opposed to it. Lots of couples once we’ve filed a divorce.
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A few weeks later, actually, we’ve worked things out because as soon as they see that their spouse has found something, they want to work it out. And that’s good. I’m not opposed to that. Yeah. You know, one piece of advice you reminded me of before I got married, a friend said to me, whatever the bad things are about him, imagine it 10 times worse. And if you can live with that, then you’re okay getting married to him. know, whatever, you know, it is always imagine it worse because
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things get worse over time. think also in probably my culture and yours, can’t really live with the person before marriage. You kind of move in after marriage. When you live with someone, you really get to know them. What their sleeping habits are, what their annoying habits are, what they like in the bathroom, little things. Obviously I’m quite fussy and I’ve got like a bit of OCD about things. So obviously when I moved in with my husband, I found it hard because we’re very different. I’m a morning person, he’s not. So, you know, there’s lots and lots of things and it irritates you, but you just have to learn to be.
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bit chilled as well, like not everybody’s gonna be exactly how you want. So again, little red flags things, what is it? Is it really that bad? Or can you just learn to cope with that? Because everyone’s different and no one’s gonna, even if you have children, one child will be very different to the other child. It’s the same thing with a husband and a wife. Like you’re there, you put together together now you’re in this marriage, but you have to still look for that deeper connection while you’re together, while you’re with each other. And I had a consultation the other day and he was like, look, we’ve been together 35 years, the kids have grown up, got married and.
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We’ve got nothing in common anymore. We want to divorce, but we’re completely amicable. We just want a fair divorce. And that happens as well. Thank you so much, Samara, for your time today. Can you tell our listeners where they can find you? No, definitely. So if they want to contact us, you can find me on Instagram first. That’s really easy as well, samara.xpatloyer. You can also email me on samara at aramastelorxpat.com.
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And my details are typical consultation. You can find me on LinkedIn with Samara Iqbal and also website. I don’t know if you can share that with now. People can just go on there as well and just send messages or, you know, people literally just through the website can send me a direct WhatsApp saying, Hi, I need advice on custody. Just like, where are you? Where are you based? So, yeah, feel free to get in touch. Even if it’s just a question, you just want some advice. It doesn’t mean that you have to, you want to file a divorce. lot of people just want advice and information because
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Maybe it’s in their head and they’re worried and maybe they never come back, but we still, we’re here to advise and help. And we deal with lots of people all over the world. I’ve got some American clients as well. I’ve got lots of every type of clients. So we’re here to help and we’re here to get the best advice. If I can’t do it directly, I will know someone that can help. Thank you listeners and viewers for tuning in. If you want to catch more episodes of Uncover Your Eyes, make sure to follow or subscribe on your favorite podcast platform.
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and on YouTube. To learn more about me, follow me on Instagram @Dr.MeenalAgarwal Until next time, keep those eyes uncovered!
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See comfortably, near and far.
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with total multifocal contact lenses. Feels like nothing.