Please note: this transcript is not 100% accurate.
Dr. Meenal Agarwal 0:01
Now normalizing talking about your strengths doesn’t mean you go up to somebody and you just say, I’m good at this and this and this and this. Show them what you’ve got. This is Dr. Meenal, and welcome to Uncover Your Eyes, where we uncover reality. As a mom and eye doctor, I want to know it all. Recently, I was on a flight, and the flight attendant made an announcement at the beginning, introducing the crew, and she said, there’s the beautiful Gabby at the back, and we have the beautiful John helping at the front. And I’m Felicia, and I’m beautiful too. We all kind of chuckled, and I could hear the Chuckle across the plane, because it was odd. Someone complimenting themselves or talking about their strength was odd. We don’t generally say good things about ourselves, so that’s abnormal. We found that funny. Generally, if we talk about our strengths, we feel we are being impolite, that we’re boasting about ourselves, where we can give off that arrogant personality. We shouldn’t be talking about how good we are. There’s that fear of judgment and that fear of isolation, that we’re going to be isolated from society because people are going to box us into this arrogant sort of personality type. And also, as a healthcare provider, we generally are perfectionists, and so we don’t focus on our strengths, we talk and focus more about our weaknesses. And I’ve definitely found that about myself over the years. You know, I’m quick to criticize myself, but I’m not quick to compliment myself. Do I even recognize my strengths? I don’t know. Most of us don’t, and most of us it takes time to recognize and be able to communicate about our strengths. If we are not talking about our strengths, that tends to lead to concerns with self confidence, self esteem. We miss opportunities. There’s that saying closed mouths don’t get fed. So if we don’t praise ourselves or talk about how great we are, and we’re not used to saying that, we will miss future work opportunities, we also may not be happy at work. There’s that reduced satisfaction at work because we’re not able to talk about how great we are and we feel undervalued. And that same concept applies to relationships. If you’re not able to see your own strengths and discuss your own strengths, you will not feel valued and not feel good in relationships with others, whether that’s friends, colleagues, your partner, and then, by suppressing all of that, you are going to be stressed. You’re going to get increased anxiety that could lead to burnout. So overall, we have to start focusing on our strengths to feel more confident, feel that we are valued, that we belong and that there’s a purpose for us. There has been numerous psychology research that has shown if we talk about our strengths, we will feel more confident, have less stress, be more focused on our well being, feel more positive, gain more career opportunities and be more successful in our relationships. So we have to normalize talking about our strengths, whether it’s in healthcare or whether it’s at home. There’s a self help book that was written called water, what you want to grow, that really hit home, because if we water just our weaknesses and we focus on that, then our strengths won’t grow. So what are your strengths? Talk about them, embrace them, recognize them such that they grow rather than having your weaknesses grow. You know, recently, I went to my son’s parent teacher conference, and they talked about how he’s great with math, but one of his, you know, weakest points was his writing. He’s very messy, lot of grammar mistakes, and just not able to write as well as other children, and he tends to have to repeat his writing work. So when I got home that night, you know, I had two choices, either I sit down at night and I only talk about all of his bad writing and make him feel low about himself, because that’s a weakness, and I’ve done that before and generally, you know, that makes him very upset. But this time, I decided that I’m going to talk about his great math work first. So I started with talking about how great he was and all the great compliments and how they talked about how he’s such a great person, so helpful in class. And then I moved on to the things that we can improve on. And that was. So much. I felt that meant so much to him, and that was better received. And he actually, I think, took that in and maybe made some changes. I don’t know, we’ll see at the next parent teacher conference, but again, water what you want to grow. So water those strengths, because he’s so great in math, so you don’t want to put that down. You want to water that. And you know, if there are weaknesses, recognize that in a positive way such that that maybe they can work on that a little as well. Don’t get me wrong, it takes a lot of courage to talk about your strengths, and there’s a way to do it. You can’t just talk about your strengths and say, hey, just want to let you know I’m a great communicator? No, you’re not going to say that, especially as a health care provider, I’m not going to go up to patients and say, Hey, I’m a great communicator. I’m also beautiful, you know, all the positive things that you think you are, you’re not going to go say that to a patient. However, how are they going to perceive that you’re a good communicator if they have an issue and at the end of, you know, the assessment, you’re able to communicate what the issue is, you know, hey, you have this problem. This is how we can treat it. This is how we can manage it. They will naturally see that you’re a good communicator. So normalizing talking about your strengths doesn’t mean you go up to somebody and you just say, I’m good at this and this and this and this. Show them what you’ve got, right? Show them that strength. They will naturally perceive that and know that, hey, this doctor or this person is a good communicator. You know, if you’re a good listener, that’s a great strength, right? We all need that friend who listens. I definitely do so that I can talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. I need that friend that can listen. That’s a great strength to have. Not everybody has that, and everybody wants to be friends with that listener. And knowing that my friends, you know, certain friends, can listen to me, I have recognized their strength. Their strength is in listening. So it’s not that my friend comes up to me and says, Hey, I want to be a friend. And just to let you know I’m a great listener. No, we naturally started talking, and I can tell they’re great listeners and such. We jive. I’m the talker, they’re the listener. So it’s the yin and the yang. We we just work well together. And that being said, you don’t want to brag you know about your strengths as well, and you want to actively listen to the other person’s strengths that they’re showing you. So it’s kind of a relationship, a cycle between people, whether you’re the patient the doctor, whether you’re the you know, the partner and the partner, or you’re the friend and the friend, you have to listen to each other’s strengths, recognize each other’s strengths, not brag about each other’s strengths, and maintain that relationship. So I think it’s time we break that stigma around talking about strengths. We empower people in our workplace cultures to talk about their unique abilities. So let’s normalize in 2025 talking about our strengths. Thank you, listeners and viewers, for tuning in. If you want to catch more episodes of Uncover Your Eyes. Make sure to Follow or Subscribe on your favorite podcast platform and on YouTube. To learn more about me, follow me on Instagram @Dr.MeenalAgarwal Until next time, keep those eyes uncovered!