Please note: this transcript is not 100% accurate.
Dr. Meenal Agarwal 0:00
I want to share with you guys, the top three things that helped me really manage my anxiety. This is Dr. Meenal. And welcome to Uncover Your Eyes, where we uncover reality. As a mom and eye doctor, I want to know it all. Anxiety. Anxiety is something that I feel lies within all of us. It’s something that we feel every day. As a health care provider, I feel it at home, and I feel it at work with my patience. I feel it sometimes even going into work knowing that I may have a hectic day or things may get busy or there might be concerns that come up, then I feel it on my way home, being home on time, being able to be with my kids being able to cook them dinner, do I have enough time to get them to their activities, and then I feel it at nighttime getting all the kids to bed and being able to rest myself. Anxiety is just part of our lives. And I think most of us feel anxious at some point in our day. I knew anxiety had kicked in one day when I was at work. I had just started my day at the clinic, and a few patients in I felt my chest tighten. I thought I was having a heart attack. It got really bad and I didn’t know what to do. So I held my chest. And I sat down. And I freaked out obviously. And then I went on the floor because I thought I was having a heart attack and would lose sensation. Luckily one of my staff ran in called the ambulance. And I was taken to the hospital. I was tested for a heart attack and, and heart issues. And I had a stress test and everything. But finally, we chalked it up to an anxiety attack. I had no idea that I had anxiety. Until then, I had no idea that this was called an anxiety attack. I had no idea how to manage this. I had never heard of this. How could I have anxiety? I’m the health care provider. I’m the health care professional helping others. How could I have this? But then I realized that it’s okay. And there are things I started to look into that could help me better cope and better manage with this. I want to share with you guys, the top three things that helped me really manage my anxiety. The first one is setting boundaries. I was not setting boundaries, with my work, my colleagues, my patients, and my family. I was doing everything for everyone and never saying no patience wanted things right away. At the end of the day. I got it done for them. staff wanted things that moment, I got it done for them. A colleague wanted something done, I got it done within minutes. My kids wanted something I was there. My extended family wanted something I was there. I would chat with family members to late at night sometimes just to be there for them. And I realized I had to pull back in a nice way of course. But there has to be boundaries because there’s only one me. And I can’t be divided in all directions. So there has to be a time in place when I’m there for each person. And I’m going to refer to one of our episodes that we had with Dr. Nina Mafrici, who’s a psychologist. And what she said was setting boundaries doesn’t mean building a wall around me. Right? Setting boundaries means having that window or that door there, where there are times that you can help. And there’s other times people have to wait. So you can open it when you choose. That was such an important and key life lesson for me. To this day, I set boundaries and that has helped me dramatically. The second thing that I have done is removed toxic people from my life. First you have to recognize who they are. So have recognized who you know, makes me feel low about myself or makes me feel inferior or puts me down when I want to do something that I feel is right for me. But they don’t want me to achieve those things. removing toxic people is so important. It’s also those people who just constantly talk about others, and, you know, for lack of a better word gossip, and sometimes you don’t realize, but that really bogs you down. Removing those people from your life does not mean discarding them. And it doesn’t mean never speaking to them ever again. But I think what that means and what I’ve taken it to mean is small doses. So it doesn’t mean you’re going to talk to those people every day or every second day, but maybe every few weeks doesn’t meet your mean, you’re always going to meet with them. And these toxic people can be family members very well. So. So it doesn’t mean I’m saying cut out your family, but recognize who is changing your mood, and who is toxic to you, and start shifting your mentality towards, I’m going to lower my talk time with them or my meeting time with them. The other toxicity that we face, of course, is in the workplace, right? Whether it’s our employees or employers, there are people who just are not motivated in their jobs, and that can really bog us down. And so recognizing who’s not motivated and who kind of brings your work spirits down is very important. And whether you change positions, or, you know, rearrange your office setting. And for me as an optometrist, sometimes we have to move staffs or employees roles around that are better suited for them, such that they aren’t those toxic people to others. So for example, if someone is more toxic greeting patients, and you know, the other staff around them is saying that that staff member is sour, that that staff member might be better suited for being someone who’s sitting in the back doing your recalls, your one day calls your confirmation calls. So you know, again, I’m not saying cut out toxic people or fire toxic employees or quit toxic jobs with your employers, I’m saying, first try to find a way to change your interactions with them and see if that helps. The third thing that has really, really helped my anxiety has been self compassion, I have always been someone who I don’t think has ever loved myself or appreciated myself, I think I’ve always, you know, just take it myself for granted and just keep pushing myself to do better and better. And maybe I don’t appreciate myself enough. And putting that pressure on me. And that stress on me, I think also has built up my anxiety, knowing that, oh, I should have done that. Or I could have done that. Or I should have also done that, you know, I can take that on or, you know, it just builds up and it builds up in you. And I’m not expressing it to others or even recognizing it myself. So realizing that I should be happy with who I am and really practicing self compassion. Which means, you know, first of all, being in a place that you’re happy knowing that you are doing your best. For me, I’m working, I’m raising a beautiful family, and I’m trying to be a better human being or a better person should be enough for me to say, you know, I love myself and I’m happy with myself. And I don’t think we do that often enough. I have taken you know, help from apps that help with not meditation, I’m not someone who can really sit down and meditate but with calming myself and you know, playing music more often so I can relax myself and just be one with myself almost or spend more time alone is really important. I think once you know, I realized that I need to love myself and be more compassionate towards myself. I think that’s when others started appreciating me more, especially my kids maybe. But that is really the key to success, happiness and anxiety, I feel those three things together. So again, setting those boundaries, removing those toxic people, and practicing self compassion or self love have really changed my life. I am going to proudly say I haven’t had an anxiety attack in a couple of years now. And when I feel any sort of anxiety coming on, I’m able to cope really well with it. I’m able to recognize it, sit down and know that I need to breathe in out relax, and I know that I need to calm down the rest of the day or the next few coming days and not worry about things such that an anxiety attack does come on recognizing that is very important. And of course if anything is not working in your anxiety is is definitely increasing and unbearable or you’re not able to sleep, you’re not able to eat, you have really, really bad days where you feel everything is going wrong. I definitely want you to seek professional help, you know and see someone that can help give you other ways of managing your anxiety. But those are tips that really helped me. And I think us as healthcare professionals, as providers, we don’t recognize things within ourselves, we’re quick to diagnose others, but we are not quick to diagnose ourselves. And we’re almost hesitant to diagnose ourselves, right. So that was a huge undertaking for me, or, you know, a huge realization that I need to recognize what my body is saying. And health is not just physical health is also mental. There are two types of health, physical health and mental health. And for me, of course, I have to take care of my physical health. But my mental health was really bogging me down, it didn’t matter how much I worked out, or how well I ate, that anxiety was was really making me feel bad and I needed to recognize that so I’m hoping you know, this episode helps any of you facing any form of, you know, mental health issues, anxiety, you know, recognize it, prioritize it, don’t just continue caring about your physical health only because they go hand in hand. And that’s so important. Thank you, listeners and viewers, for tuning in. If you want to catch more episodes of Uncover Your Eyes, make sure to follow or subscribe on your favorite podcast platform and on YouTube. To learn more about me, follow me on Instagram @Dr.MeenalAgarwal. Until next time, keep those eyes uncovered!