Please note: this transcript is not 100% accurate.
Dr. Meenal Agarwal 0:00
I want to do things because they make me happy. I don’t need to show the world anything. This is Dr. Meenal and welcome to Uncover Your Eyes, where we uncover reality. As a mom and eye doctor, I want to know it all. Let’s be real today. Rejection. Rejection is something that we have all faced our whole lives, whether we were rejected being picked for that school play, being picked by a friend, or not being invited to a birthday party being turned down for a job. And in optometry, I can tell you, I have been turned down countless times for opportunities. Rejection has been part of my entire life. But I want to tell you a secret today. Something I realized over the last year, I have always wondered, what has motivated me to do the things that I do? What has motivated me to open my practices? What has motivated me to be on social media? What has motivated me to take up certain opportunities that arise in my profession or as an entrepreneur? It’s rejection. That was a harsh reality that I faced learning that I think one of the driving forces behind my motivation is rejection. I got a little scared and a little setback, when I did realize that it was rejection. Is rejection really a motivator? Can rejection really be a positive thing? Or is it still negative? Rejection is something that obviously hurts us. Rejection is something where, you know, I get angry when I’m rejected. I feel upset. I just don’t understand why I’m rejected. I don’t understand why I didn’t get that job. I don’t understand why I wasn’t invited to that party. I don’t understand why that friend didn’t pick me. And it becomes so ingrained in us that we almost feel that every action that people do is about rejecting us. You know, so when we feel we aren’t invited to that party, it’s like, oh, my gosh, they’ve rejected us. But maybe we were going to be invited to the next party. Or when we feel we didn’t get that job, we were being rejected. But maybe there was somebody who was a better suited candidate, and worked harder than we did. But we take it as rejection, I take it as rejection. Sometimes, when a friend doesn’t even respond to me on WhatsApp, I feel rejected. I’m not saying that that’s a motivator to do anything about it. But we feel rejected so many times a day, and we don’t realize it, it’s almost consumed a big chunk of our day. So recently, in a small group of women, we had a little seminar. And, you know, we had someone come and speak to us, who, you know, asked about motivation. And I disclosed that I discovered that rejection was a big motivator for me. And you, the speaker was actually very shocked and said, you know, that’s amazing that I’ve recognized this, the speaker was actually interested in that. And she started asking and probing a lot more questions. And she said to me, I’m gonna leave you with something. I’m gonna leave you almost like a piece of homework, to try to figure out how to find a positive interpretation of rejection. What can you change rejection to such that that becomes your motivator? What can you change that word to so that your mindset can shift? I don’t know what it is yet. That might come in another episode. But I want to say after hearing her out, I have definitely thought about rejection a lot. And started to shift my mindset into thinking that I want to do things because they make me happy. I don’t need to show the world anything. I don’t need rejection to motivate me, to validate their rejection, I don’t need that, I need to show myself only only myself, who I am. And what I can be. If it means rejection is motivating me to do that, that’s fine. But I need to ensure that I want to do that for myself. Because what can quickly happen is we take on so many jobs and so many things, and so much extra work. Because we’ve been rejected from so many different aspects that we are overly stressed. And that happened to me, I got overly stressed, because I felt so rejected from so many aspects and so many things, that I started working on this thing and that thing, and this thing, and that thing, and helping this person and being with this family member and doing all these things, because I was felt SO, SO rejected. And they almost felt like I had to be validated by all these people. So I was gonna do all these things to show them that you rejected me. But I’m gonna do this anyways. For now, no more, that mindset is shifting. I am not okay, with myself being motivated solely by rejection. If it means showing others what I can be, I have to come to terms. And so to many of you, that we have to just be who we can be. And we have to be who we want to be. And we have to do the things that we want to do. We don’t need to show others. So yes, you can be rejected, and we will be rejected. But don’t take on all those things, just to show them because they may not even care. Right in reality, and you’ve just packed yourself with all this work, all this stress, and all these burdens. And rejection applies to every aspect in our lives, whether it’s work, whether it’s family, whether it’s friends, we can be rejected in so many aspects of our lives. And we don’t need to fill those holes of rejection. So rejection, again, is a big part of my life. And I want you guys today, to take the time to think about what motivates you to do the things you’re doing. What motivates you to take care of your children? What motivates you to go to work every day? What motivates you to love your job? What motivates you to apply to different jobs? What motivates you to take on different opportunities, different roles, write that book, start a podcast, what motivates you, it has to come from within a not rejection. If it’s coming from rejection, sit back and make sure that it’s something you want. Because that person that has rejected you, or that company that has rejected you or that friend that has rejected you will not care. Do things for yourself and your self only. I’m going to tell you a secret. As you all know, I love talking. And podcasting has become an outlet for me. It was not motivated by rejection. Podcasting was motivated by my love for talking and my way to give back to my community. Talking is the thing that I know best. And I feel that I need to give back to my community and hopefully change one person’s life or one person’s mindset through my podcasting. And surprisingly, I love it. I love it, love it, love it. And it was not motivated by rejection. And if it was secretly if I really thought about it, this was something I wanted to do for myself. Do things for yourself, do things you love. Don’t do things because you’re rejected.